Escape

So it turns out I've found my way out of a dark, forsaken place. Perhaps I was pulled from such a place or the exit found me but that thought is for another time. I want to state my mind and my.. feelings. Yes, feelings. Turns out I'm human after all. There was a "series of unfortunate events" leading up to my temporary negative slope in the graph of life. To summarize it severely it was a loss, a mistake, and the rippling effects of them both. The loss was, not as severe as I acted. Perhaps it was but logical thought got me past it. Problem solving of life as if they are just word problems (who says they aren't). And what of this mistake? I've made many in life, many in this past year, many in just a day an hour.. beyond count. I am fallible, because I am human, but perhaps that fallibility also comes bearing a gift. Perhaps that gift will forever separate humanity from anything else in the (uni)verse. And yes I say gift because: despite humanity's recklessness there is good in people, mostly it stays hidden but it's there waiting to be unlocked, unleashed along with potential.However I digress, my mistake was crucial to my period of "darkness" and I will never forgive myself for it. nothing I do or say will ever undo it.. but I know I am forgiven, I know that a mistake can't get in the way of something more. Though the darkness surrounded me, I held on to the light I saw ahead, until my mind reached it's period of freedom. I admit that, in time, it's possible I will face another time just as dark, maybe even darker. However it's simply the Trials and Tribulations of life, prevailing proves yourself to yourself, others and your mind. Back to the concept of life being word problems (trials).. sometimes we must look at life as if it has nothing to do with us. As if we weren't going to be punished even if we picked a bad choice (but of course the goal is to pick the correct path). That is when your heart stops it's racing and also stops the worrying emotion. Well to be more specific your heart isn't in it, because it doesn't pertain to you. The statement sounds cruel but I use it to my advantage. Treat the problem as IF it didn't pertain to you although it does. That is when your mind uses simple logic to solve problems from the hardest to the simplest. Normally your mind attempts this but your heart get's in the way with all it's worrying and what not. That is why you must temporarily put it on pause! It's how I solve some of my problems. However, emotion (which derives from our hearts of course) makes us human. It can help us as well as hinder us, just and the logical mind and brain can. Sometimes a situations calls for your heart, sometimes it calls for your head. The point is a balance is needed. I've discussed this "balance" topic previously, but it slipped my mind that it's not just everywhere around us, it's also inside us, In our thoughts. We need to retain this equilibrium to correctly, rationally, reasonably and logically handle heavy situations. This, I envision, will lead to a more perfect society. Not perfect, just more perfect. Without hearts we are machines with organs, not human. Without our heads we are unsophisticated beasts despite the fact that we can still love.
After all, we are [only?] human.