Mind of Logic

Even after concluding I must balance my intuition and Logic, I still realize my minds prime ammunition is Logic. I am very Logical and I think it's because I'm very inquisitive and curious which means I want to know how things work and why etc. It's reasonable that I want the truth rather than just a belief or something along that nature, which is most likely why my mind is so heavily based off of Logic, because when using Logic there is no doubt, only evidence that will lead to proof concluding a thought or debate. Furthermore intuition is in no way proven which obviously leaves it's front door open for fallibility to walk right in. This is why (I believe) when finding justice, a judge (at least should) bases his/her conclusion off of logic, which is based on evidence, not their gut feeling which is probably propelled by prejudice behavior (maybe judging based of of the defendants, appearance). Even though me basing my thoughts on Logic is reasonable due to the fact it's more solid, I Logically conclude that sometimes my mind must use intuition foreseeing a path invisible to my humble yet strong logic. You see in my eyes, Logic moves very prudently and can be compared to a computer: It will take all the time it needs to come to a conclusion it knows works because of evidence and proof, but when forced to make a 50% chance fail 50% chance progress decision it basically won't ever move because of possible failure. Whereas Intuition uses little to no evidence and makes uncertain decisions even if possibilities of failure are great. However intuition itself somehow gives the beholder a strong sense of the correct path (or at least it can) which Logic could never do and is quite strange. The two base's of thought balance each other out. How? Logic is probably going to be the primary basis of thought proving and justifying decisions (meaning it's not possible to make a worse decision that intuition only greater than or equal to) and then once a Logic itself cannot make a decision, intuition comes in and makes a decision based on gut feeling. But how? ..Who knows? My perspective of the two is clarified: I must have a balance. However as previously stated, I cannot seem to follow with action what my mind has ordered me to accomplish. I find it difficult making decisions sometimes, always doubting things in life because of the fact that their is room for doubt. If there wasn't room for doubt (which if it were proven there wouldn't be) I wouldn't doubt it. But there is, and so i doubt it. It's just my logic. Allow me to construct a more visual and practical situation i can demonstrate this concept and difficulty within. I'm about to by a pair of shoes. Even though the shoes are wicked cool my logical mind keeps bringing up the possibility of better shoes being out there. (I know it's a ridiculous example but bear with me) Because I can't prove that the shoes i like aren't the best (I don't want to settle, why get possibly mediocre shoes if it's possible there are shoes with the ability to dwarf the ones I admire now?) I hesitate the order them, afraid there are better shoes (as a computer would not make a decision because it is afraid to be wrong). This is a problem and I know it. Why can't I make such a simple decision? They are just shoes! However this concept applies to more than just shoes... but I digress. One of my ultimate question about this controversy is: Am I asking to much? Is there really a perfect pair of shoes out there for me, or will I always get the pretty awesome ones? What if the pretty awesome ones are really the perfect ones but because of my logic and semi skepticism, I make myself believe there are better, or at least can't pass the possibility of superior shoes? It's scary to know this problem is effecting me and I can't seem to cure myself of it. What's even more scary is how will I ever know what is perfect and what I can do better/get better of/in life when this problem chooses to appear in my life? I mean when it comes down to it how do I really know? I know this is where my intuition is suppose come from the shadows giving my Logic a rest but i fear if this were to happen the possibility would still haunt me in the form of those two most terrible words: What If..? It seems to me i must make sacrifices and risks in life because of the 2 facts in life: 1. The people we love, and the things we do can't always be the things that we strive for. And 2. I cannot predict life and every segment of it, I am just a man. It's logical and reasonable to conclude this but my mind won't accept it. I somehow need to get the Logical portion of my mind to accept this and start following the truth with action. I don't know how it's possible but I've realized my logic argues points in life with...itself. It argues the possibility of better this and better that but it also argues to importance of intuition and therefore not everything in life can be proven hence the fact that there will always be the possibility of this or that.

I suppose I must believe.

Will of a Human

Once again the topic comes up, success. Perhaps not the main concept in this blog but definitely in the foundation. A friend of mine wants to get involved in business, business management and the like. It's basically some kind of organization that sells all kinds of things and it starts with 1 guy that recruits 3 more to do the same, sell. Those 3 people then do the same, sell and recruit 3 additional people. However the real money comes by recruiting. Because every person you recruit and everyone in those families ultimately contribute to you and all before you as well. So it's like a tree and the guy at the top get's paid. The object is to spread the organization so that you are at the top of a smaller tree that will eventually pay tons of money. Once you've reached so much you keep getting that x amount monthly. Anyways, He's gone to a couple meetings to see "what it's like" but nothing major. All he talks about is the money and how much this guy make or that guy makes. He never talks about how he would enjoy doing it, just about the money he will make and how easy it is (after all who enjoys managing a company by sitting in front of a computer screen their whole career?). My first impression was that of a skeptic: sounds too easy. I'm sure I'm not the alone with the thought however, both of my sisters agreed that it sounds like a get rich quick scheme. The contrary was argued by my friend until I prudently agreed to (to put it simply) pretend it's not a scam. He could be right, it could be totally legitimate but to further the conversation and break down the idea (into smaller segments for more thorough analyzing) I chose to act as if it were 100% reliable (because in reality nothings ever for sure). He then continues to speak of the luxuries that money brings: waking up late every day, doing "whatever" he wants everyday whether it be going to Hawaii, Canada etc., not having to worry about whether he can pay this or that every month and so on. To me it had "American Dream" written all over it. Yes it is possible to have everything you want and all, they (people like teachers, school officials and all them) are totally correct when they say you CAN have it all. However this idea comes up in my mind. A very swift idea, quick to escape my captivating words I attempt to capture it with. Maybe it's not just this idea either, a lot of my ideas and thoughts seem to escape my efforts of transforming them into ink or even words. Ah, I've caught myself digressing which doesn't help me capture thoughts. Anyways, the idea that comes to me is that somethings, if not all, aren't as great as they seem. There is tons of psychology in the concepts, objects and people we heavily depend on and adore. Take love for example, and a great one at that, it's only so great because you along with everyone else in the world, knows what it feels like to be alone. You see love itself isn't amazing but we evolve into a new versions of ourselves except now we need love. It helps us escape that most terrible feeling of loneliness. It's really us that makes the object or concept great. Think of it as a mountain. All our lives we are climbing this mountain and for what? Most think it's to get the treasure at the top. That's wrong. It's just a concept to keep everyone climbing. What most don't realize though, is that the treasure isn't really that great. The most valuable thing is the journey, that's the real treasure, and then the runner up is the physical gold, money or whatever other kind of treasure you can think of that can be held in your hands. And the only reason it's even runner up is because the journey is hard, but it's the only way to truly appreciate any physical treasure. Well i might have lost some people because i do tend to branch off quite rapidly, but to the objective of that was to say that my friend is just trying to skip to the treasure. He says to hell with them mountain hiking and on with the treasure and luxury. Furthermore he says, I don't want to work a normal 9-5 job (hike up the mountain) I want to work for a few years and then retire (skip the whole journey to get to the treasure)! It's logical to think that the physical treasure is the real treasure (if that made any sense) but really, the wise already know otherwise; that the mountain hiking is basically for their own good. It's the way to really appreciate life. Skipping the mounting climbing (which is a negative.. but in the end a positive) and going straight to the gold (which is a positive but in the end not as good as the climbing) would throw off the balance i so heavily implore others to see. I've said it before balance is everywhere and you can't corrupt the equilibrium of positives and negatives in life.. otherwise we would have nothing or at least something very wrong. So I've made it clear that one should not skip this or that to get this or that because it would throw off balance but.. the last point i would like to make is that which my friend made clear only later in our conversation: He not only doesn't want to worry about bills and the like, but he wants to help people out with all of this extra money he get's and all of the extra time he will have. I ask of him: How? He explains things that he see's a lack of in life and how art and things that should be reinforced are otherwise. He, with the money and time he will have, will seek out kids wanting to draw, paint etc and give them supplies so that they can do what they love and not be hindered by funds, things like parents wanting their kids to do something else etc. I then explain why I had so heavily disagreed with his decision before but now couldn't agree with it more. You see money, cars, women etc (anything you can think of from the average American dream) isn't success. Their are multiple ways of reaching success. It might be working hard to reach whatever you desire (climbing the mountain for the treasure), simply loving what you do and thinking of your job as the real treasure and the money as something extra, which you do not need, or doing something else such as his dream. His desires for wealth and luxuries of life are corrupt if they are lonely, but together with his vision of aiding others to reach their dreams transforms the desire completely. This is the power of will, and it can turn even some of the most corrupt objects, concepts or people into something great. Will is leverage of the mind. But.. how much longer might his will, last him throughout his lifetime? All I can do is hope his mind and priorities/values change once he begins to the the luxuries.. after all such seems to have always been throughout history. After it is human nature, or so it seems.

Zombie

Sometimes I feel like everyday is the same. Like I’m forced to wake everyday to do the same routine consisting of showering, going to school which means going to the same 8 periods and learning the same stuff then come back home taking school with me except, never really waking up to begin with. Sometimes I feel like the things I learn don’t actually help me, the help me to help the system. You see “they” plan our future for us by giving everyone social security numbers at birth, forcing you to go to school, drilling it in your head that there is no other way but school. I think education is a great idea but I feel as if the government doesn’t do it for our own good, it does it for IT’s own good.. see what I’m saying? We’re just along for the ride. The plan is for us to go to school for 12 years at the least (because if we didn’t we wouldn’t be able to efficiently support them) but the strongly encourage us to go to college which does mean a better life for us, but they still get their pick of our salary: Income Tax. While most think we need income tax to support schools, construction etc we do NOT. Schools are supported through property taxes, roads through gasoline tax (and for the record 43 cents per gallon) etc. I wonder what the extra money (income tax) goes to? Supporting them and their wants of course.. the only question is what? Warfare? Weather Manipulation? Who knows… but that whole subsection was to explain why they want you to go to college to get your money. You don’t work for HEB you don’t work for Nabors, you work for the government..ultimately and indirectly. I digress, this whole school thing whether it be for the government or not is still this big routine. First i go to elementary which has it’s own subroutines, everyday being the like the last. Then there’s Middle school which is slightly different with more subsections of routines and so on. After college it’s work but to me it all looks the same. You can setup your own schedule but it’s probably going to be something like work 9-5 for 5 days off for 2. Repeat until your vacation comes once a year (if your lucky) repeat this bigger cycle until graduation Oh wait there is not graduation because it’s not high school. There are no bigger cycle so the only thing next is death. It scares me.. i know. However there is one thing i forgot to mention: how much harder work is than high school. You see work seems to be based of of high school except far more serious. There is no “make-up” work in your career only deadlines which if not met mean trouble. There is no parents to help you reason with your teachers (boss), there is no detention for being late to school only being fired. Furthermore the money earned (knowledge) can barely be used to by yourself anything because it is all going to bills. Like that nice car you bought leaving you with a nice car but with practically no money to pay for insurance, gas etc to even drive it. See what I’m saying? Stupid. The only thing you can do with it (well afford to anyways..) is drive it to work. Wow big whoop. I don’t know why kids wish to “escape” school so bad. You find yourself facing the real world which is not better than the sheltered school you were in before. It’s not the teachers or responsibility you run away from, it’s the energy and life depriving school schedule itself. You see doing the same thing everyday requires less and less of you actually thinking. You start to walk to this or that class or go to this or that lunch line without even realizing it, eventually (practically) turning you into some kind of mindless zombie. The only time we use our minds is on the weekends but by this time we are so tired we don’t want to do anything but sleep. And might I add, that it’s not your boss (teachers),work (homework) or even lack of sleep probably due to you bringing work home with you that drains you. It’s the mindless, zombifying schedule. This empty schedule that never mentions anything benefiting the human being following it, only the government from whom it was designed by. The exhaustion just blurs everything.. When adults tell you to stay young it’s for a reason. Because they have realized that work is just harder outside of school than inside, but they probably don’t realize why. Like i said, it’s the restless schedule we live out lives by, getting into car accidents just attempting to be on time to work? What are we? The car itself might be great but the costs, responsibilities, liabilities and the like, I’d say, heavily outweigh the gift itself. Why even drive? Might as well walk. The sad part is we don’t need cars but we do need them to be on time to work. Like Ive stated in the previous post Foolish Laughter, this country has evolved to be built upon a foundation containing a core problem. The false believe that we “must” keep going with technology. I can go on about that but cars only solve problems created by technology itself. How ironic, i know. All of this worry tires me more than any work ever can/will but it’s stacked on top of the work.. and that’s not including the far more challenging period of the real world i have yet to face.
Lucky me.

Escape

So it turns out I've found my way out of a dark, forsaken place. Perhaps I was pulled from such a place or the exit found me but that thought is for another time. I want to state my mind and my.. feelings. Yes, feelings. Turns out I'm human after all. There was a "series of unfortunate events" leading up to my temporary negative slope in the graph of life. To summarize it severely it was a loss, a mistake, and the rippling effects of them both. The loss was, not as severe as I acted. Perhaps it was but logical thought got me past it. Problem solving of life as if they are just word problems (who says they aren't). And what of this mistake? I've made many in life, many in this past year, many in just a day an hour.. beyond count. I am fallible, because I am human, but perhaps that fallibility also comes bearing a gift. Perhaps that gift will forever separate humanity from anything else in the (uni)verse. And yes I say gift because: despite humanity's recklessness there is good in people, mostly it stays hidden but it's there waiting to be unlocked, unleashed along with potential.However I digress, my mistake was crucial to my period of "darkness" and I will never forgive myself for it. nothing I do or say will ever undo it.. but I know I am forgiven, I know that a mistake can't get in the way of something more. Though the darkness surrounded me, I held on to the light I saw ahead, until my mind reached it's period of freedom. I admit that, in time, it's possible I will face another time just as dark, maybe even darker. However it's simply the Trials and Tribulations of life, prevailing proves yourself to yourself, others and your mind. Back to the concept of life being word problems (trials).. sometimes we must look at life as if it has nothing to do with us. As if we weren't going to be punished even if we picked a bad choice (but of course the goal is to pick the correct path). That is when your heart stops it's racing and also stops the worrying emotion. Well to be more specific your heart isn't in it, because it doesn't pertain to you. The statement sounds cruel but I use it to my advantage. Treat the problem as IF it didn't pertain to you although it does. That is when your mind uses simple logic to solve problems from the hardest to the simplest. Normally your mind attempts this but your heart get's in the way with all it's worrying and what not. That is why you must temporarily put it on pause! It's how I solve some of my problems. However, emotion (which derives from our hearts of course) makes us human. It can help us as well as hinder us, just and the logical mind and brain can. Sometimes a situations calls for your heart, sometimes it calls for your head. The point is a balance is needed. I've discussed this "balance" topic previously, but it slipped my mind that it's not just everywhere around us, it's also inside us, In our thoughts. We need to retain this equilibrium to correctly, rationally, reasonably and logically handle heavy situations. This, I envision, will lead to a more perfect society. Not perfect, just more perfect. Without hearts we are machines with organs, not human. Without our heads we are unsophisticated beasts despite the fact that we can still love.
After all, we are [only?] human.

Balance

..It's simply... Key.
To almost everything I'd say. One thing I've noticed, maybe not as I experienced it but looking back on it, is there is Balance everywhere and in everything. You might be on a diet and eating okay (as in some candy & ice cream here and there) and exercise normally. Well say you eat a lot of crap one day, well in order to balance it out you have to exercise more so even though you took in more calories than normal you also worked off more then normal. That's just a physical example of balance, you see balance can take every which way that way form whatever! Like someones personality for example, everyone has their downfalls, but the ups about them make up for it don't they..?Someone might be a douche (once in a while) but every other day they are the coolest person ever and plus they apologize for being that way. Also you can be a profound thinker, just be oh so smart and intellectual but be somewhat of a geek in school. There is a downfall and up to almost everything, but rather than getting all positive i say it's better to have a balance. I have so many thoughts coming to mind i don't even know what to type anymore. Let me say one more thing though. You say "Are you saying that people that don't have that balance suck or something?!" No that's not what I'm saying. Because if you have a real douche, I mean a real jerk there has to be someone else in the world that's nice as hell.. like so nice it's scary (ha ha just kidding). But the sad part is if that were true wouldn't the world be perfect, or something close to it? Well I say that.. In today's world people need to find balance within themselves before they can try to balance out the world. But there all these bad things that want to break that balance.. like doing drugs or stealing.. all of the negativity. See if you make a mistake, make up for it. If you don't this disrupts the unseen balance that will have rippling, lasting effects. Imagine your life is like a scale -10 through 10. A mistake is -1 so in order to make up that negative 1 you have to do something that +1 right? Well what about the people that are like -10 on everything? Well like i said before there are people that are +10 somewhere in the world...Just not enough. You see the world is going to downhill to be completely honest. 100 years ago Pessimists outnumbered optimists 3 to 1 (just throwing a number as an example) Well today it's probably like pessimists (and that includes every kind of negative person) 8 and optimists (every kind of positive person) 2. Yeah it's pretty bad. There is balance in some people but if your comparing the world it's on the negative side. let's pretend Jimmy's overall rank is +4 well there are going to be 3 people that all have -2 and that will bring the world down overall to -2. Well of course this is just an example but In my mind that's how i conclude the world to be, more and more negatives popping up than the optimists can handle. It's... bombarding and all i can say is please.. do what's right and have some balance. You might have stole a candy bar but in exchange help the old lady with her groceries on the way out.. ahahaha! No one is perfect and that's why I'm not saying oh don't steal the candy bar that's wrong.. because it's going happen. Sure the candy bar was a choice but it represents any morally ill decisions. Some you can decide and others happen almost without you knowing. This balance starts from the day we are born to maybe even long after we die. Imagine your some famous person and you do something bad.. well that bad act might be looked back at even 50 years after your death who knows. But.. I'd like to say one more thing before i conclude this.
People that come out of the lower side of society whether it be severe or minor, and try hard and end up living a good life, they (in my mind anyways) live a better life than someone who has had money (and lots of it) their whole lives. Why? Balance.  It's better to start not so good and end up positive so that you can appreciate all the things that you have.. and appreciation can help the balance too. But as i was saying it's better to start off not so good so you can appreciate than to always have it and not know what it really means or how good it is to go eat at Red Lobster or Olive Garden and buy all these nice clothes all that stuff.
So.. Find your Center
You can find inspiration and answers everywhere, you just have to Always stay open. All Ways

Malleability

Youth.. It's undeniably significant to ones whole life. It is.. the very foundation for reaching the sky, for catching the sun, the stars and the moon. Anything you want to be or achieve etc. all starts with your youth.. your childhood and teen years. It starts with your infancy, how your parents treat you, what you see as a kid, what you hear. Most people think it's cute when little kids or babies are using vulgar language when they can only say mommy and daddy. The truth is it's a perfect example of how the child is portrayed to be in his adolescent years and maybe even adult hood. You could imagine when kids at 12 and 13 start using profanity it get's bad... imagine when they start at 3 and 4 instead of 12 and 13(big difference). So as you can see that's a huge characteristic and the kids only gone through what 3 or 4 years of his life by now? Crazy! Anyways.. as the kid progresses in life he will start to understand people and things around him with more clarity than before. He will be effected (probably) mainly by the kids he goes to school with. Not that it's a crime but obviously kids at that age(elementary) are immature and talk/laugh about everything. Then comes middle school and wow these are the years. Around this time you make really close friends and these friends effect you far more than any other kids at school (which still effect you substantially). The child is no longer a child.. he's almost a teenager. I'd like to say a lot of kids suffer a "decline" of some sort and this is important.. for it can swallow you if you don't control it. Hopefully around the end of middle school you have overcome this declination period.. but some unlucky few are still trapped. Anyone reading this should know what I'm talking about. Your years at high school are still immensely shaping to people as a whole. Think of your life as a metal strip growing stronger and stronger every year, as a infant/child you are so small/thin and ever so easily shaped. As a kid your a bit more firm but still very susceptible to change.. perhaps by an older siblings? As a teenager you probably think you know what you want but almost always it's not what you want or need. Support for this would be things like: The kids that are always in trouble.. why are they in trouble? Because how they were raised as a child and kid which led them to hang out with kids raised the same way and so on. Also, the kids always doing good in school will keep doing good in school and probably achieve much higher forms of recognition. Anyways and on to the high school years of the what is now young adult. Now he/she wants to go out and but himself/herself things and wants a car etc. This alone (the desire for wealth and materialistic items) can sway one from a path very generously. Along with the friends you might have had since middle school or elementary molding you day by day whether you realize it or not. It's the reason they say everyone, everybody you've ever gone to the movies with, had a good time or just generally hung out with is a part of you, small but there. Without all of those people you would not be who you are today. You are now a strong strip not easily shaped as you once were in your younger years. This continues until(I'd say) your out of college. It might seem simple but take into consideration all of the unmentioned variables involved such as drugs, alcohol, truancy, music, media, internet, hobbies etc. All of these things can greatly effect you whether it be positive or negative it's just an example of the changes everywhere all the time. Nobody realizes the significance of youth and how we need to take great care of it. It's such a fragile and malleable stage of life and ,as most people do realize, our future. One day you and I will be parents and like everyone else we just want the best for our kids. Well you and I need to take care of our kids and when i say take care i mean think back to your youth and think about how you always heard lectures and the like. Did you remember any of them? They all sounded the same right? Wrong! there was at least one you really listened to and remembered whether consciously or subconsciously. What do you think they said that made them stand out from the rest? What you needed to hear! Most likely it was a person down to earth that understood you and wasn't afraid to say they've been there and they have made mistakes like everyone else in the world! So talk to your kids like that.. not like you want them to be perfect (the ideal perfect) but that you just want them to do good in life and you realize there will be hardships and declines in the road to glory. That is the honest truth.. you make your destiny and nothing is predetermined that is exactly the reason why teachers are always telling dropouts they can still graduate and get there life together.. because it's the truth they can! It's just harder to do it when you get older. A perfect example would be: what's easier? Saying no that kid John when he asks you to steal a candy bar from the store? Or saying no to the same John 6 years later when he asks you to rob a bank with him? Exactly it's the path of a more shallow kid but he can still escape it all with the right attitude and motivation. So do it when your younger and it'll be easier! I don't think you shouldn't hang out with "John" kids but just have friends that are better than that. Hang out with john at lunch once in a while to say what's up but the people that ask you to help them learn to kickflip on a skateboard or join a summer camp with them.. those are the people you want to hang out with after school. Those are the people that are going to sway your life in oh so many ways.
Period.

True Love

What is it?
Hasn't this question been asked a million times? I'd say more.
Anyways I'm posting because once again I was thinking about lots and lots of stuff when It came to me, and I made the connection. Let's examine the quote "You don't really know what you got till it's gone." Makes a lot of sense huh? Well How about "You don't really know what it is to relax unless you suffered and gone without it." or "You don't know what good is unless you've experienced the bad." I don't know about you all but to me that makes total sense. And There is a connection between the 3 of those. It's.. I can't really put it into words but I'll try. It's like the same concept or moral. But anyways I'm sure you all knew that. Well I was thinking about love and it's basically the same as good or like ya know? Well the same as you have to have bad to have good.. you have to have hate to have love.. make sense? I think it does. I think that most people have to hate somebody to really know what it is to love. And like myself.. you'll know if you've ever loved. I was in love once and I loved it :) It was really great and i enjoyed it and all but it left me.. no.. It was stolen from us. Long story but I didn't really realize i was in love with the girl until she left. I don't know where the hate came into place but you guys get it right?? I was in love! but i didn't know it. She left and then somewhere along the line i experienced hate.. which made me realize i was in love at a point. But now thinking about it.. maybe it's not hate? Maybe there are multiple ways to achieve and realize love. I might not know what love is but I think a girl like that comes once. Maybe I'm wrong maybe there are different girls that are perfect for you but I assure you if that's true it's not many. And like I've stated in my previous blog we are susceptible to change and that goes with out concept of love too, it's susceptible to change as well. I'm starting to believe we go through stages of love.. or maybe just life but love goes along with those stages of life. Either way.. i think one of the two are true. And I think that the stage that I'm in now.. Sofia is the Perfect girl for me. Maybe I'll transition into another stage and there will be a new perfect girl for me. Let's name the 1st stage.. stage 1 where Sofia is the perfect girl for me. And (if i transition) the 2nd stage.. stage 2 where there will be another perfect girl. If i were to move on and find a perfect girl for my stage 2 then whala! you know? but Sofia will remain the Perfect girl of my stage 1.. Always All Ways. But back to the subject.. Maybe I won't have to transition.. Maybe I'll remain at stage 2.. after all I'm pretty sure I'm much more mature than most my age so I will come to a climax or finale of stages sooner than most as well ya know? Well Anyways.. I have to get some stuff done. Just a thought for everyone.. Think about it!